13-11-29 Log: Astrea Seeks Out Answers
Astrea wasn’t entirely certain what compelled her to leave on such a dangerous visit, nor did she know why she felt as though she could in any way trust the monster she was about to face. All she was certain of was that she needed to know, and he was the one with the answers. The itch to leave had been there since she realized what happened to Verger, but now that her mind felt liberated from all its other burdens its singular note was unbearable. The others wouldn’t, and couldn’t understand it. Involving them was too much of a risk. And so she left as silently and ethereally as a ghost, using her new-found powers to make sure she wouldn’t be followed. Astrea didn’t care about the voyage or even the power she was now using to bolt across the lands, knowing full well that she could not allow herself to even consider keeping such abilities beyond her purposes tonight. By the time she arrived, she had paid little attention to how she got there or how long it took, but it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered were the answers she sought. All that mattered was him. Astrea knocked on the hive door. The door to the hive opened and Astrea was greeted with the face she sought. On it, a smile that to someone else might have been terrifying, though Astrea wasn’t frightened. To her, it was the smile of sharing a secret; the joy of someone finally solving your riddle. “Welcome, Miss Maryam, please come in...” Hannib opened the door and with a courteous nod Astrea followed, taking off her shoes at the door. The elegant therapist ushered her into the living block. She took a seat and sipped at the tea that had been freshly prepared and placed on the table. She didn’t detach her eyes from the troll as he took his own seat opposite her. “So, what brings you here at an hour like this, you’re here for answers, aren’t you, but you already have them, you just need to hear them from someone other than yourself, don’t you… Ask your questions, Astrea...” “You’re The One Who Made Him Mad, Aren’t You Doctor Lektor?” “Verger was always unstable, he came to me already harbouring an intense obsession with creatures, monsters, things that go bump in the day… You know he made one himself, once upon a time, and it was the death of him, but you already knew that, even before you drank him...” “So You Turned Him Into One By Turning Him And Made Him 8elieve He Was The Greatest Monster Of All. You Made Him Think He Was Dragul Re8orn. His 8lood, His Gills… You Did That To Him, Didn’t You?” “People like Verger need only a push, a light tap to enter the world they see as reality… When someone wants something to be true it can be all to easy to convince them that it is, the only thing keeping us from living our fantasies is the fragile barrier we call sanity...What did you see when you looked at his mind, Astrea, how did it make you feel...” “He Was Sick. Reading Him Was… Distur8ing. Did You Push Him, Doctor?” “I did, yes, though the transfusion and mutilation were his own doing, he hardly needed my suggesting it...it suited him, don’t you think...” “Why Did You Convince Him To Create All Those Monsters?” “His obsession existed well before he came to me, in fact it’s why he came to me…It made sense to him that monsters attracted monsters, that if he created something grotesque, others would come in response… Do you agree with him, Astrea...” “I...I Thought I Was A Monster Once...” “But you don’t anymore, and yet you’ve taken the minds of others for yourself, why is that Astrea...” “I...Don’t Know. I Suppose, 8ecause They Were 8ad, Or Were Doing 8ad Things, And I Was Stopping Them And Using Their Knowledge To Help Others. I Think… It’s Not As 8ad If It’s For A Good Cause.” Hannib smiled again. Astrea shuddered in response, though more so from her own remark. There was something obviously wrong with her, and he now made her see it… But there were more questions she needed answered. “What A8out You? Do You Think It Succeeded? Did He Attract Monsters?” “Your companions, Aphaea Serket has rage issues and penchants for cannibalism, Leiren Creuze is plagued with classic survivors guilt and habitual self repression that came out quite spectacularly might I add, Jarren Helios is an overprotective neurotic with a typical supertroll complex in addition to being a simple rube, the latter two are a handmaiden and rainbow drinker respectively… Monsters by some definitions yes, though psychologically inconsequential relative to this rotten world…” “What A8out Lilith?” “Your guardian, yes… She is a funny one isn’t she… Belonging neither here nor there, having so much power and no way to use it without sparking the ire of those she wishes to protect… Being tied to a girl with so many of her problems, yet being forced to watch them make all the mistakes she wishes she could have avoided… What fun that must be for her…” “She Left.” “Is that so… Couldn’t deal with daughter dearest turning on her… But there is someone else… You have a great deal more power now than you should… But that’s only temporary, isn’t it… You wouldn’t keep such a thing to yourself… No, you’re above that, so you like to think...” “...And How A8out Me, Doctor? Are You Saying I’m A Monster?” “You, a monster, no, don’t be silly, you aren’t a monster yet, but you’re becoming one… What was the name of the first troll you drank, do you remember, Astrea, please tell me...” “It Was...Rothan...Rothan Oppara.” “You remember, but you hesitated, why...” “It’s A Difficult Su8ject. His Memories Are Still Vivid In My Mind.” “Not still, Astrea, they are re-emerging, the toxins you exposed yourself to and your frequent imbibing of the psyches of other has weakened your psychological immunity, and so those memories have awakened, Rothan will happily take over your mind, should you slip up again, and you will, Astrea, you will...” “No! I’ll...I’ll Reinforce My Mind And Keep Him At 8ay. I Can Do It.” “Tell me, Astrea, what do you think will happen when you die, hmm, what are the steps that will take place when you turn...” “My Vascular Pump Will Stop, Then The Drinker Parasite Will Awaken And Momentarily Take Over My Cognitive Functions While It Reconfigures My 8iology...” “And your mind, Astrea, what will happen to your so-called thinkpan when your blood stops flowing, how will you hold him back then...” “I...Everything Will 8e Shut Down During That Period. There’s No Way He Could Take Over In That Small Of A Window.” “Tsk tsk Astrea, he can and he will, Rothan will use your weakness and take control, him or any other of the minds inside you if they get the chance, he’ll leave you to rot in a cell within your own mind to wither and die while he takes your place, and you will be able to do nothing but watch as he systematically destroys everything you care about in this world using your own body, and it will all be your fault...” At this, Astrea began to weep. Hannib was right. She could feel him, and the others, pushing even now, trying to revolt against her containment. Even though her mind was far more powerful right now than it ever had been, it also meant she could feel them all the more directly. Her momentary weakness would cost her everything, and she would be powerless to stop what she was responsible for. Even the solutions she might have, the seed, in a way would just make things worse in a different way. Hannib told her what she feared most, and dreaded even in her childhood, before she could understand just how much of a monster she could become. “Please, Doctor… Help Me. I Don’t Want This To Happen! I Don’t Want To 8ecome A Monster!” Hannib slowly leaned forward, as though he were about to tell Astrea a secret, and Astrea quickly did the same, eager, desperate even, to listen. With a delicate brush of his fingers, Hannib wiped away one of Astrea’s tears and pushed back some of her hair which was now falling over her face. “I will, Astrea, but you will have to do exactly as I say...” “Yes, Of Course! I’ll Do Anything! Anything At All!” Hannib smiled at that, and this time, it was for that reason that Astrea shuddered. “Good, Astrea, I will become your monster...” “My Monster… What Do You Mean?” “Rothan and the other vermin, they are your monsters, and I will collect them, consume them, and purge them from you, until only we are left...” “You’ll 8ecome My Drinker Self...” “Yes...” “You Really Are Vladim Dragul, Aren’t You?” “It was a name I used once, I ate the original Dragul and made him watch as I did it, his flesh was not fit for the maggots...” “But Why? You’ve Lived All This Time. Why Choose To Die Now? Why Like This?” “Rainbow drinkers, beasts, the mentally frail, the psychopaths, the megalomaniacs, all of them have come and gone, only to come back again, as with everything on this waste of a universe...It’s become tiresome, tedious, but you, no...You’re interesting, fascinating, so full of potential, you are something that has never happened before, a natural psychic and a drinker matron...You are a rare thing for someone as old as me, Astrea, something new...” “I Can’t Drink You...I Couldn’t Do It. You’re Too Strong.” For a moment the thought flashes through Astrea’s mind that the correct word is “shouldn’t”. Normally, a drinker like Vladim Dragul posed way too much of a threat to her for her to even hope to fight him off should he decide to revolt, and given his history, there was no doubt that he was not as amicable as he might seem. With her current power, she may well be a match for him, but that was hardly the issue. She wouldn’t use those powers unless she had to. And yet, for some reason completely inexplicable to her, the idea of refusing or fighting lasted nary a second before passing. Hannib leaned forward even more, now whispering directly into Astrea’s ear. “You’ll do just fine, Astrea...” And with that, Hannib bit down on her neck. Astrea screamed as the pain and the shock of the teeth in her flesh hit her, and almost instinctively she tore at her attacker’s mind. It took nearly all of her mental strength to do so, but she managed to pull it out and into her own. As Hannib’s body ceased its protests, Astrea pushed him off of her, dropping him onto the glass table, which shattered on impact. Seeing the now rapidly decaying body and feeling the surge of a new mind within her own, amplified by her heightened awareness of the inner turmoil, Astrea moved clumsily away from the seating arrangement, stepping on broken glass and stumbling over a chair. As she fell to her knees, her stomach could no longer hold and she threw up over the carpet before finally passing out. It was only a moment later, however, that her mind rebooted, thanks to the power granted to her by the seed. Astrea contemplated how little she used the power, and was thankful. Using its greater potential may have made things far easier than they had been, but something like this should not come easy, and it remained Astrea’s firm belief that she should never become comfortable with something so grave. Using her power for what she resolved to be the last time, she rapidly and silently returned to her hive. It would be about an hour before one of Treise’s agents, sent to respond to an anonymous request, would come to find the mess of her struggle a few steps away from the husk-like corpse of the troll many knew as Hannib Lektor.